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Quarter Life Crisis Chaos with 25 amazing people!

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Today is my 25th birthday and that number just seems crazy! I feel very young at heart though so I’m trying not to let the number bother me that much. Today I have an appointment with nenek and jeeleekkk in their house (seems so familiar she is my favorite friend)! I’m so excited! It’s funny because i’ve no idea whether they know today is my ACTUAL birthday! On Saturday I will be celebrating with a few friends by going out to party but i end up in jjeeleekk’s house. 

why does turning 25 feel like a mid-life crisis?

25 is a rough age. All your life, you look forward to being 21 so you’re allowed to go to bars and legally drink. Then you spend the next few years being glad that you can go to bars and drink. 22 is cool, Twenty-three is cool, Twenty-four is cool and then BAM. You turn twenty-five and suddenly, it’s not so cool anymore. You’re only five years away from being thirty. You start analyzing every aspect of your life. Where is it going? Why aren’t I married? Why don’t I have kids? Chances are by now, you know several couples who are getting married and several couples who have children. Then you start to think “well my parents were married by now” or “all my uncles and aunts were married by now” or “wait my parents already ME by the time they were twenty-five!”

Then you start thinking about all the things in life that you haven’t done yet. I still haven’t traveled to Brazil… I still haven’t published a book…

Then you start analyzing the person you’re in a relationship with. Are they the one? If not, why am I wasting my time? I’m almost thirty! What if I’m thirty and all my friends are married and I’m not?!”

Carrot Bday Cake

Maybe this doesn’t happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. I started reading blogs about people traveling to different countries and looking at pictures of their journeys. I started remembering when I was back in 21 yo and my backpacker journey to europe and do all sorts of activities and life was so fun. Now I felt like all I did was so fabs, me? in early twenty-sumthing? doing my own traveling by myself. I felt like I was too lucky to do some of the things I did in my life, but too young to settle down and have a family yet. Or was I? Maybe I’d be ready if I met the right person. Hmmm… hahhaa

So then I started analyzing my current relationship. Did I really want to marry my boyfriend? but I knew deep down that the thought of marrying didn’t excite me. So why was I with? Was I just afraid of being alone? What if my future husband was out there and I’m missing out because I’m wasting time with my current relotaionship? I knew I didn’t want to end up thirty and the only one out of my friends that wasn’t married!

By the 25th birthday most people expect to have accomplished something with their lives. There’s only five more years until that big three-O and the average person usually hopes that they are well on their way by their 25th year. They’ll have settled into a place of their own, a job and may even be starting a family all ready. (me?? ok’m still searching that points) Some new twenty-five year olds might be thinking that they want their party to be a little more grown-up, a little more sensible around this time. (woohoooooo!!!)

Anyway, I read a story once about a woman who went to some sort of soul searching retreat and the leader asked everyone to think of the one thing they’d always wanted to do in life and write it down. I remember asking myself when I read it “what is the one thing I’ve always wanted to do in life?” and the first thing that came to mind was traveling, because I’d always loved to traveling and write ever since I was young. And the second runner up to writing was music, which is also something I loved to play and listen to since I was a kid.

Then I started analyzing my job. I work as an buroscarbeiterin, so basically I got involved in media and sosio Project. I didn’t mind it, but was I passionate about it? Did I love my job? i love it. I did it because it paid well and it’s something I had years of experience in now. i mean it!

All in all, I think twenty-five is an age where you discover who you really are. What I mean by that is finding who we REALLY are; what we’ve always loved deep down that makes us different from everyone else. I think as young adults, we know what our passions are, but as we get older we get so caught up in life we forget about it. In high school, you don’t care about things you feel passionately about. You care about whose parents are going away that weekend, who’s going to buy you beers and if your current crush is going to attend the party. Then after high school, you care about where you’re going to go to college and where you’re going to work. You don’t worry about if you’re current boyfriend or girlfriend is “the one” or if your job is the job of your dreams. But then when you turn twenty-five, you realize you have to think about these things. After all, you’re reaching adulthood! What a scary thing. I’m still twenty-five though, so I’m still in the process of analyzing every aspect of my life and envying the people who have chased their dreams more than I have. 

this is basically a sequel that includes some things that I’ve learned over the past year that have helped point me in the right direction, and hopefully it will help some of you quarter-lifers, too.

Now, for those of you who haven’t read my previous article, I’ll briefly sum it up for you.

I had just turned twenty-five. I suddenly realized that the dreaded 30 was slowly creeping around the corner and I was facing a few problems, those being:

– I did not want to spend the rest of my life with the person I was in a relationship with

– I had no idea how to tell the person I was in a relationship with that I did not want to spend the rest of my life with him

– I did not want to spend the rest of my life at my dead-end job rotting in a cubicle

– I had no idea how to tell my boss that I did not want to spend the rest of my life rotting in a cubicle

– I wanted to travel. Not a trip to Disneyland traveling. Backpacking through to north-south hidden island traveling. Life-changing traveling.

My point is, for everyone that can relate to feeling lost in the quarter-life crisis chaos, my advice is to do a few things: the first being to really think back on your life and think of the one thing you’ve always wanted to do in life. And then go and do it. I know it sounds easier said than done, but it really isn’t. If you keep a positive mentality that you can do it, you will. And after that, the rest will fall into place. Do what you love, do the thing that deep down you’ve always wanted to do. If you hate your job, find one you love. If you’re in a relationship that makes you feel like you’re settling, don’t be in it. If you want to be in a relationship, find people that share similar interests as you, and go to places where you’ll meet those kinds of people. If you want to travel, then TRAVEL! And remember that a positive mentality is the key to success. If you think you can do it, you will. After all, you only live once…

About Rinny Hafid

i am a part time WORKER, a part time CHEF and a FULL-TIME TRAVELER!

One response »

  1. Pingback: Best Of 2011 in ME! « Dazstory's

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