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Notes about HIM

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i’ve admit, im lost my word to over spread actually! but i’ve been save this draft for over 1 year after i realize it. then, i didnt want to showed up, in the case off to hurting people around me, though!

but i cant explained why this is truly bugging me, and i couldnt passed it up so made this circumstance in deep damn ditch!!

if i was only knew that nite, in mid of November 2008, my mobile rang and with “private number” screened on 2 pm in mid nite, GEEZ!!!

i didnt recognize the voice over, i didnt have any clue, whose called me on mid! perv!!

but suddenly, he tried to mocking me like used, then yes i knew its HIM.. “long lost buddy”!! but wait no “my monkey love”

but, where did he got my number, our last viewed was in junior high, afterward and… he asked me to went back to slept.. i was tortured myself, where the hell he got my number? but my eyes didnt compromized, i need to better slept again!

the next morning, he texted me… and so on. thats the very 1st time we continued our distance in between..

i started to flashed back in 9-10 years ago.. while i was in elementary, either does he! time flies so easily yet NEVER COMPROMIZED!

“a lot of happened and there have been a lot of changes”

really have no idea, why this came too late? when everything was changed and obviously impposible?

believe me, i was forgotten anything in between. i never want those misery came early and faded away. since the day

reminds me, was that time.

a promises to myself, that i’ve to forgoten. it definitely wasnt the cool things to do, i dont feel like i’ve changed, im just still, just kicking around. the first time i knew about how impossible this situation ever.

on that day, we met occasionally. played some stupid bike around the house and found him squrel with his young brother, lately his lovely sister came ahead offered their favorite meal “telor ceplok” it isnt that funny? c’mon gimme abreak, i even still remember how a shamed he was, when he realize that i knew about his nickname “darling”and so on..

and recently, i was giggled by myself, when i stuck with this word “rgrooverjet” wwoooootttt… this acc since i was in Jr high for many things to do, a lot i mean, have no idea, why this mal-fuction brain came easily to created those word? i dunno, but you must have known that word consist of —> (R = big letter in my 1st name) “groover” (adjective noun) then (Jet = his last name, btw)

But I never told you, What I should have said,  I just held it in

And now,I miss everything about
Can’t believe that I still want you , And after all the things we’ve been through

i love you, i’ve loved you for 9 years. i’ve just been to arrogant and scared to realize it. now  i am just scared. i realize this comes at a every inopportune time.. but i really have this gigantic favor to ask for you..CHOOSE ME..Let me make you happy

it might be kinda cheesy, but i should put in afterward. i tried to be honest to myself, being a scaredly shitless then, before im going to backpacking over the asia. its release me from everything, i left my heart in here.

i get to meet people from all over and learn a lot of new stuff, i dunno what will be happen next. i dunno, what will going through after you read this. i dunno should i’ve to waited more,

or if this a worth to WAIT? i’ll be wait… i couldnt passed it up. really!


About Rinny Hafid

i am a part time WORKER, a part time CHEF and a FULL-TIME TRAVELER!

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